Remembering to Breathe...

At certain points within our lives we are faced with a challenge...the opportunity to continue down our path OR to face ourselves, our true Selves....to make the conscious choice to love ourselves enough to do the work. 

For me, this opportunity came eleven years ago.....

From that moment, I knew that I could no longer continue to suppress all of the childhood pain.  That I couldn't continue to pretend everything; my first marriage, my family, my self esteem was "fine".  From the outside, my life looked perfect, but the reality was I kept myself so medicated and busy so that I didn't have to be with myself.  That I didn't have time to wonder why I couldn't sit still or why I married a man I knew was wrong from our first date.  If I slowed down, I would have to deal with the pain, the mistakes, and the realization that I didn't know myself at all.

After a traumatic separation & reconciliation and several failed attempts to leave, I final said Yes to being happy, even if that meant it was a long road to get there.  I left with my dog, my gear, a few weeks of clothes, and my little 17' trailer.  Everything else I left behind.  I didn't know where I was going, I just headed West on 1-70 with a paper map.  If I was going to rediscover myself, I was going to have to do it away from everyone and everything I knew. 

Eleven years ago, I began a journey that I am only now realizing the true magnitude of.  I am finally healing the past wounds and letting go of the weight of my mistakes.   I no longer feel that I have to hold myself hostage to who I use to be. I have learned to hold the space of self empathy with strong nurturing arms...to forgive, let go, and always remembering to breathe....