Embracing the Role of a Special Needs Mama...

I am blessed to have lived an adventurous life, listening to my Spirit, before becoming a mama at the age of 36.  Thank goodness for that woman, She choose to embrace her wildness and lean into the pain to discover that all of her struggles would fuel her strengths one day.

Recently, I have had a handful of conversations sharing how I mourned letting go of my maiden Self to fully embrace the role of motherhood.  It was not an easy process nor a quick process for me.  Truth be told, I resisted letting go of the success that I had built as a restorative yoga teacher.  I wanted to pickup right where I had left off, not considering the consequences of travel and long days on my family.  It was during a training in Colorado, where I realized that I had fooled myself into thinking this was for them.  That trip was all about Me.  I felt gut-wrenched with the reality of not putting my little man first.  That was a pivotal turning point in my role as a mother.  It took me another year, of extremely challenging self-work, to truly let go of the woman I was before having my little man and fully embracing the path of motherhood.  When that magical moment happened, everything shifted for me.  It became much easier for me to say no to the things I thought I should be doing and Yes to things I needed to be doing.  

The connection to this energy is how I am able to navigate the struggles of being a special needs mama, especially through a military deployment.  Everything slows down in life and we focus on meeting all of our needs in order to stay true to what is important.  And that definition is different for everyone.  For me, that means that we sleep well, eat nourishing food, fuel our minds, exercise our bodies, explore new creative outlets, deepen our connection to Spirit and honor our family.   Our slow lifestyle creates an undercurrent of stability which makes the challenging days easier to weather.  

For me, it is all about making choices which nourish positive habits and layer into the embodiment of being the best mother I can.  It's why I wake early to enjoy the stillness of my space, the setting of the Moon, the rising of the Sun, my fur-babies companionship and time to be Me without any distracts.  This sets the tone for my day, it provides me with calm and loving energy when my little wakes up full of energy and needing my full attention.  It gives me a reserve to draw upon during the day when I am having to deal with his behaviors that I just want to avoid. It helps me to truly see all of the beautiful gifts his Autism has given us and to provide him with what he needs to continue progress.  This is what nurtures my Spirit as Mother, seeing him grow and become an amazing little man.

If you feel comfortable, please comment on how this early morning rambling has resonated with you...